I never got that saying and I still don't. guess i still got more to learn...
but I do believe that things uneccesary in your life have no place there and shouldn't remain. this goes for people as well. So today I did some facebook cleaning since that is the site i'm on most and update the most...but besides that there were some people on my friends list who were there and didn't deserve to be any longer. You know trust is a big thing and some I couldn't trust I felt they only were my "facebook friend" because that way they get a peek into my life. but when i see them they never speak or we never spoke when we did go to school together or whatever the case. But yep so I did it and there were more people I wanted to delete but most of them were people I once had a serious connection with mostly friendship wise and so i was apprehensive when clicking the delete button and erasing them out of my lives so they still remain and we'll see how i feel in a couple of months. Oh and I deleted that boy! and it feels good.
My point is people only do what you allow them to so if you allow people to be in your life and they don't deserve to be you are allowing them to bring you down and also in this case for me i was allowing these people to inflict on my morals and values which is never good. so they had to go!
buh-bye =D
Tuesday
612s
current cali. time, cool song/rap
shit man Beyonce, swagger, naps!...
ugh it's all a mess! Everbody quotin Beyonce and I can't judge that would be hypocritical but yall kno what I'm talking about it's one thing to quote her but people get to feeling like they her and it becomes overkill everyday a new quote from her and I mean at least take it and make it your own. like my blogspot url I took it but I have made my own reasons as to way I feel that i'm that bitch(i'll explain later) and those wouldn't be my exact words when describing myself but yea some people are using it like yea I got every reason to feel that i'm that bitch because B can do it so I can to. NO you can't like people quote these rappers and singers and shit like everything they say is about them it just so happens that their words fir every situation in their life like it's ridiculous. and the damn word swagger for some reason is reallllllllllllly just killing me! and I know just because I want it to happen doesn't mean people will stop using the word/term whatever and I know already in '09 it's still gone be here but like I said i'm laughin', laughin' at you if you do it don't use that word it's played! played I tell you! ugh! and gotdamn why I take a nap everyday and can't sleep at night! not coo and I don't take baby naps I take all day naps nigga go to sleep when it's light wake up when it's dark but I guess that don't too much matter with daylight savings and what not but yea shit's been on my mind heavy...
something big is gonna happen soon...soon.
shit man Beyonce, swagger, naps!...
ugh it's all a mess! Everbody quotin Beyonce and I can't judge that would be hypocritical but yall kno what I'm talking about it's one thing to quote her but people get to feeling like they her and it becomes overkill everyday a new quote from her and I mean at least take it and make it your own. like my blogspot url I took it but I have made my own reasons as to way I feel that i'm that bitch(i'll explain later) and those wouldn't be my exact words when describing myself but yea some people are using it like yea I got every reason to feel that i'm that bitch because B can do it so I can to. NO you can't like people quote these rappers and singers and shit like everything they say is about them it just so happens that their words fir every situation in their life like it's ridiculous. and the damn word swagger for some reason is reallllllllllllly just killing me! and I know just because I want it to happen doesn't mean people will stop using the word/term whatever and I know already in '09 it's still gone be here but like I said i'm laughin', laughin' at you if you do it don't use that word it's played! played I tell you! ugh! and gotdamn why I take a nap everyday and can't sleep at night! not coo and I don't take baby naps I take all day naps nigga go to sleep when it's light wake up when it's dark but I guess that don't too much matter with daylight savings and what not but yea shit's been on my mind heavy...
something big is gonna happen soon...soon.
ugh the FRUSTRATION!!!
do you know what it's like to not be able to fully express yourself like you can you have the right but you're afraid in a way and you analyze the situation and just keep the shit to yourself and are mad!? I'm sure you do
But let me explain there's this guy that I liked and although I left him behind due to my re-location I kinda knew we had a connection and wondered what would become of it. Well know I know it kinda all hit me like a ton of bricks...so I've gotten over my ex. I love myself and my life at this point but there's this boy this damn boy who's miles away who is haunting me in a way. Like I don't think of him everyday but ever so often I do especially when I'm writing and then to make matters worse today I read a poem Balance by Nikki Giovanni and shit that is exactly what I been wanting to say but she said it so perfectly and so I almost posted it on fb and tagged the guy then thought what's the use because I tried that before a while back and recentyl and no response either time but then it wasn't so bad because I sorta kinda got a reaction in person but now I don't know what he's thinking how he's feeling maybe he moved on but there was nothing really ever there besides a connection but that's something and all I can do is over analyze the damn situation and no response from him how unfair it is. I mean certain times you can only be so obvious without actually coming out and saying it you know. And I thought about that to but I gotta big EGO lmao no but seriously that will hurt if I pour my fuckin heart out and get no response like poems are one thing and if I tag a few people and him but if I were to write him something personal like in his inbox...that's risking too much! so i'm stuck aint shit i could do but keep writing my damn poems and i could tag him but i don't want everyone in my biz you know and he's an asshole really so it suxz!!!! Ahhh somebody help!
what should i do?...
But let me explain there's this guy that I liked and although I left him behind due to my re-location I kinda knew we had a connection and wondered what would become of it. Well know I know it kinda all hit me like a ton of bricks...so I've gotten over my ex. I love myself and my life at this point but there's this boy this damn boy who's miles away who is haunting me in a way. Like I don't think of him everyday but ever so often I do especially when I'm writing and then to make matters worse today I read a poem Balance by Nikki Giovanni and shit that is exactly what I been wanting to say but she said it so perfectly and so I almost posted it on fb and tagged the guy then thought what's the use because I tried that before a while back and recentyl and no response either time but then it wasn't so bad because I sorta kinda got a reaction in person but now I don't know what he's thinking how he's feeling maybe he moved on but there was nothing really ever there besides a connection but that's something and all I can do is over analyze the damn situation and no response from him how unfair it is. I mean certain times you can only be so obvious without actually coming out and saying it you know. And I thought about that to but I gotta big EGO lmao no but seriously that will hurt if I pour my fuckin heart out and get no response like poems are one thing and if I tag a few people and him but if I were to write him something personal like in his inbox...that's risking too much! so i'm stuck aint shit i could do but keep writing my damn poems and i could tag him but i don't want everyone in my biz you know and he's an asshole really so it suxz!!!! Ahhh somebody help!
what should i do?...
La laaa la la
wait till I get my money right I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven When I awoke, I spent that on a necklace. I told God I'd be back in a second, Man It's so hard not to act reckless.To whom much is given, much is tested,Get arrested, got some chilli, get the message?I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny,And What I do? Act more stupidly.Bought More Jewlery, More Louis V, My momma couldn't get through to me.
anywho this is my tribute to Kanye and Louie V all in one lol. no really I have to share this with yall you already know how I feel about bein rich but if the money I want appeared right now I'd go to Louis Vuitton in frisco and cop this:
shits ill! the new spring 09 line of Louie V shits hot right but you gotta have money to get it but it's up my alley all the way I want it so bad it's on my super wish list! Sry I just wanted to fill yall in I promise this is not and will not become one of those fashion/picture blogs. There are ENOUGH of those but if something big comes up I will give a visual here and there. Get in!
Monday
are men really women with balls?
lmao! gotta LOVE sex and the city
&& i live. you know i wonder. i wonder a lot. but what i wonder most i guess is about realtionships...
i wanna know if a relationship could last without sex. not forever but until the two tie the knot. There are a fair amount of people who want to wait until they get married and i just wonder if they can have relationships that last, with sex nowadays being the hot thing. hell for that matter it always has been i guess...not sure. but I'm watching True Life:I'm abstinent and these people can either not have relationships because people aren't willing to compromise sex to be with them or they're in relationships that are failing because of lack of sex and I think that's sad and f'd up. Like virgins nowadays are just loners because they don't wanna have sex. IDK I just feel people should be able to have stable relationships with or without sex but sex has so much emotion involved you know so...what the hell why do people expect someone to give them everything like that.
ugh.
&& i live. you know i wonder. i wonder a lot. but what i wonder most i guess is about realtionships...
i wanna know if a relationship could last without sex. not forever but until the two tie the knot. There are a fair amount of people who want to wait until they get married and i just wonder if they can have relationships that last, with sex nowadays being the hot thing. hell for that matter it always has been i guess...not sure. but I'm watching True Life:I'm abstinent and these people can either not have relationships because people aren't willing to compromise sex to be with them or they're in relationships that are failing because of lack of sex and I think that's sad and f'd up. Like virgins nowadays are just loners because they don't wanna have sex. IDK I just feel people should be able to have stable relationships with or without sex but sex has so much emotion involved you know so...what the hell why do people expect someone to give them everything like that.
ugh.
Pretty Girls
You know something I hate the most is pretty girls with shitty attitudes and fine guys with shitty attitudes too! But what i'm sayin is that shit is so not appealing you can be the finest thang in the world but if you have no real personality that can take you from 60 to 0 fast! Now Wayne said it best(to me he's not a role model but has some good quotes) anyways "You think yo shit don't stank but you are Ms. PU" for some people that is so true!
I mean this is just something i've been noticing just from my experience looks can be decieving and beauty isn't everything! beauty fades. I don't quite understand the complex oh I look good so that gives me the right to act cocky. really i know that pretty people push people away because of like insecurities or because they think their looks alone will lead them to their destiny but no that's not coo it's one thing to be insecure when you have nothing physically to be insecure about but that shit runs deep and it's sad when people confuse that as being cocky some people are just shy. or goin through stuff. but when you're pretty and you know it and you're confident in your looks or what not you should not block out other people for being ugly or whatever that's not fair and that looses you cool points in the long run I just can't stress enough how unattractive that is to have a bad attitude. and then when I see two pretty people together I wonder how deep their connection is because if they have the same mindset and are equally shallow then there's nothing really there and that's sad.
I'm not sure of this is all making sense. I guess the message I hope you get is be concious of your actions evaluate yourself (ugly or pretty it's the same for both sides..) and don't judge a book by its cover. kapeesh?...
one love
I mean this is just something i've been noticing just from my experience looks can be decieving and beauty isn't everything! beauty fades. I don't quite understand the complex oh I look good so that gives me the right to act cocky. really i know that pretty people push people away because of like insecurities or because they think their looks alone will lead them to their destiny but no that's not coo it's one thing to be insecure when you have nothing physically to be insecure about but that shit runs deep and it's sad when people confuse that as being cocky some people are just shy. or goin through stuff. but when you're pretty and you know it and you're confident in your looks or what not you should not block out other people for being ugly or whatever that's not fair and that looses you cool points in the long run I just can't stress enough how unattractive that is to have a bad attitude. and then when I see two pretty people together I wonder how deep their connection is because if they have the same mindset and are equally shallow then there's nothing really there and that's sad.
I'm not sure of this is all making sense. I guess the message I hope you get is be concious of your actions evaluate yourself (ugly or pretty it's the same for both sides..) and don't judge a book by its cover. kapeesh?...
one love
Bubble baths and Face masks
damn it feel good don't it.
well yesterday was good. I treated myself to rest and relaxation but don't I always lol and I got sick for a min. but i'm better now =D which is all good. But yesterday I also found new idols. Madonna && Sessilee Lopez bad bitches uh huh. Well I never really seen Madonna outside of the performance scene but last night while watching Britney: for the record which was pretty good might I add and I got to get inside Madonnas mind for a ew minutes and she is smart and just an amazing woman! like she was speakin some real stuff..and then ms. Lopez GOOGLE HER she is a bad ass bitch I swear she's one of my inspirations in this modeling career i'm 'bout to start :D yea but more on that later
and that pretty much sums up the weekend. 11 days && schools out!!!! yes!(for a month at least)
well yesterday was good. I treated myself to rest and relaxation but don't I always lol and I got sick for a min. but i'm better now =D which is all good. But yesterday I also found new idols. Madonna && Sessilee Lopez bad bitches uh huh. Well I never really seen Madonna outside of the performance scene but last night while watching Britney: for the record which was pretty good might I add and I got to get inside Madonnas mind for a ew minutes and she is smart and just an amazing woman! like she was speakin some real stuff..and then ms. Lopez GOOGLE HER she is a bad ass bitch I swear she's one of my inspirations in this modeling career i'm 'bout to start :D yea but more on that later
and that pretty much sums up the weekend. 11 days && schools out!!!! yes!(for a month at least)
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